For years one of my brothers used to date a woman who was obsessed with appearance and dress size. In everyday conversation she could never mention any woman without referring to her weight and appearance first:

“My colleague Jane, nice enough woman but at least 15 kilos overweight and her hair a complete mess, said to me the other day….”

This is fictive (not many women in the Netherlands are called Jane for one thing!) but absolutely true to the gist of her conversation.

“My friend Stella, a sweet enough face and her make up is always tip top, but OMG her THIGHS TOUCH WHEN SHE WALKS!!!, is coming for tea tomorrow….”

In the end this woman (my sister-not-quite-in-law) dieted herself down to an aggressive size 8. Her face became so lined that she looked 10 years older than she was. And her view on life was so negative and combative – I was not sad to hear she had left my brother and our family.

So a thought occurs: surely what matters is BLESS SIZE, not DRESS SIZE?!

I know women who are wonderful cooks (sadly I am not one of them) and who hold their families and larger communities together by cooking for people and getting them all together around a large table. These women are many different shapes and sizes.

I also know many women who do amazing healing work, midwifery work, animal rescue work, nature conversation work. The amount of blessings they bestow on our world daily cannot be expressed in numbers (so called BLESS SIZE!)

So… if we are going to be counting and keeping track – what about counting blessings instead? What about looking at all the wonderful contributions others make in this world, the blessings they bestow? And I will include men as well as women in that.

Their Bless Size, rather than their Dress Size?

I am certain this would lead to far more interesting observations and conversations…. Give it a try and keep me posted!

Imelda Almqvist

Imelda Almqvist is a shamanic practitioner, teacher and painter based in London, UK