Do you know what your ‘cool rating’ is?!

I do because our resident teenager told me today: minus 99 (and that is NOT GOOD!!!) He says the only thing that stops the rating from plummeting further (“minus infinity” ?!) is the fact that I am his Mum. Right!

So how is a ‘cool rating’ arrived at then? I did a bit of anthropological fieldwork on this matter with the natives here in London…

Your ‘cool rating’ is influenced by the following things:

The way you dress

The way you speak (the words you use)

The music you listen to

How good you are at pretending that the things you put great effort into are done effortlessly and carelessly

The way you carry yourself when you enter a (any) secondary school

The way you behave the minute you leave your own front door

The way you speak to the friends of your children

If you allow your teenagers unlimited computer time or not…. (guess in what camp I am?!)

If you feed your children pizza for dinner every day or not (plus chocolate and crisps on demand)

And a few other things…. I just checked with our resident expert but he says he will either ‘punch me or report me’ if I write about the subject (so I have just endangered my life!)

The resident teenager also says that the saddest thing of all is that I have “never been cool in my whole life”. I think that is an accurate statement! The thing is: it has never been my ambition to be cool really: eccentric, flamboyant, unique, artistic… yes….. I think nothing of walking around town in paint-stained clothing. But COOL?!

Are you cool? How do you pull it off? I’d love to hear.

Clearly I need some pointers if I am to survive the years to come!


Beleaguered Mum of a teenager and a Half (and, blissfully, one child)