On Tuesday this week my eldest son (13) told me how on Monday he had stood in the school dinner queue behind one of the biggest bullies in the whole school. The  Bully had said: “I am planning to kill you and your whole family”. My son had said: “OK” because he felt any other response would have enraged the Bully and “then he might have hurt me”. After that the Bully had ‘enjoyed his victory’ and my son could walk away and eat his dinner. (We live right opposite the school, this is commonly known,  and have a younger child in the same school).

My son also told me that just a few days ago this same boy (he is tall and extremely overweight) had pinned my son’s (much skinnier and non-aggressive) friend to the wall so he couldn’t escape. It had taken four teachers to surround the Bully and set the friend free. Clearly the teaching staff are already aware of  issues with The Bully.

It was parent evening last night (before all GCSE options are submitted tomorrow) and I had a long conversation with the Head of Year 9. My son had asked me not to say anything but I told him I couldn’t ignore this. As his parent I need to act when I hear something like this and make sure he is safe in the school.  My son sat right next to me as I raised the issue. Once it was out in the open he  said he preferred to tell the story himself, so he did. The Head of Year 9 listened very closely and promised to look into this. She also addressed my son’s concern about ‘this bouncing back on him and hurting him’ in some way. He said: “I don’t see myself as a tittle-tale!”  The Head of Year 9 explained that on the contrary, he helps keep other young people safe by ensuring the incident is reported and properly addressed by staff. She also said that ‘OK’ had been quite a clever and mature response because more commonly kids lose their temper and embark on fist fights. Those are much harder to ‘sort out’ for teachers. My son kept the incident ‘brief and clear cut’ with a sensible response.

A very different thing we did, as part of the ‘shamanic parenting’ in this house,  is that we revisited the incident and did some spiritual work on the words spoken by The Bully. We visualized them as a speech bubble, popped it and saw the words transformed into ‘golden rain’ or ‘blessings’ (and my son will see this process differently from me). This is called ‘transmutation’ – changing energy from one form into another, from negative into positive.

In a recent post here titled ‘SPIRITUAL TOOLS FOR CHILDREN’ I explained about the Time Travelers group I have started here in London. It is a shamanic group for children & teenagers  where we create safe sacred space for the kids to develop a spiritual toolkit and find spiritual solutions to challenges they face in everyday life and school. Bullying is one of the issues we do sessions on: we look at the underlying issues of stealing power, powering up, how to take personal power back, how to keep safe and what to do if you observe other kids being bullied.

Earlier this week  our group did a session on introducing safe ways for children to do shamanic healing work. My own three children are intuitive healers and all have had their own ways of working for years. The children in this group are truly amazing and the work they did as a group blew me away. My eldest son’s  healing skills are considerable and growing.

I suspect that the person in greatest need of love and healing in this story  is The Bully but right now he is not open to such things. However, my children (and all children in our group) understand that bullies act from a place of being deeply wounded themselves. We can choose to see the Divine Spark as it were and the potential for this young man to mature and change his ways – for now. My son is ‘big’ enough to wrap his head around that.

I am glad that we addressed this issue on all levels, in ‘all worlds’ as it were…

Imelda Almqvist

Aske's in Twilight 2014